Monthly Archives: February 2013

Life is Tough, How to Cope

I remember the first time I read the book The Road Less Traveled, and one of the first lines is “Life is Difficult”.  Now I maybe a practical psychic, but personally I like to see the glass half full.  So for a long time, in my own distorted thinking,  I would have rather ignored that, the responsibility and buried my head.

23 year ago I had to face and recover from all of the rebellion and disease of my life.  I began to learn the hard way why struggle and difficulty can be the door that unlocks joy.  With a healthier life people and animals are included in your life. At least for me they were.  Once you bring in them in, you are not in control anymore.

How can you control your sister getting cancer?  Or losing your beloved dog or your husband leaving you for someone else?   You cannot control life.  Everything that feels painful and difficult in your life can be used for the good, your good.  You may need a new pair of glasses to see it that way.

The first thing you need to do is surrender to the facts at hand.  It is called acceptance. Sometimes I simply hate having to accept things I want to be different.  It is a key to unlocking the healing you need to cope.

Prayer is the process by which you bring in the divine healing energy into your life.  It allows you to ask for help.  Whether you have a great relationship with your God and guides, or you don’t even believe it can still work.  All you need is the open mind that says I can’t do this, maybe you can help, and I will allow it. Suspend your “I don’t believe” thoughts, just for now.  Sometimes it is harder for those who think they know God or their guides.  They ask how this could have happened when I read it so differently.  It did and now you need their help.

Next take responsibility for yourself and your own actions.  Feelings are feelings, they are not intuition, and they are not facts.  If you are ever confused about the concept of feelings being intuition there is a way to tell the difference.  Intuition is that still small voice.  Feelings are loud, and want to take charge of your life. So get up and do the next right thing in front of you. If it is paying the electric bill, do that.  Do not sit still and do nothing.

Get support.  I don’t care if it is online or by the phone get some help.  We are not meant to be alone.  If you have to volunteer to be around people do that.  Do not isolate yourself. God will bring at least one or two people that will show up in some form. They are not always the people you want them to be or in the way you want them, but they will be there.

Remember to be patient with yourself.  Healing from loss or betrayal takes time, so if you are not up to speed, or you are slightly bitter or angry, give it time.  I know that is not a quick fix or cool like our culture wants, but it is the truth anyway. As long as you are showing up doing what you need to, and talking to someone it will gradually improve. You will eventually heal.

The last is the hardest, forgive.  Forgive yourself for being stuck, not being the best mother, wife, employee. No one is.  We are human.  Forgive him or her for leaving. Their leaving may lead you into a better life, a better relationship.  Everything happens for a reason. That does not require you being friends with someone who hurt or damaged your life. It requires you finding a way to let it go, and accepting the situation the way it is. He is human, pets don’t live that long and life will always bring hardship and immense joy.

Many people turn tragedy into something positive, like the mother whose child died and caused her to create MADD.  There are countless stories about people translating their grief into something positive. Megan’s Law came about because of the horrible murder of a little girl named Megan Kanka. It now provides information to parents regarding sexual predators in their neighborhood.   Even if your story is that you are just coping, it is enough. With patience it will improve.  Time takes time.  You will grieve your lost dog and probably eventually get a new one. It will never replace your loss, but it will bring renewed hope.  The same is true about love. You will find love again.  Clichés are clichés for a reason they are true. So with that my last cliché is that when you face loss, hurt and pain. It is not what happens that counts, but what you do with it. My suggestion is you heal and love again.

Well that’s Life

So I guess my point is, how can the reality shows rack up viewers and one of my fave shows get yanked off the schedule.  That must be the new Hollywood way of discreetly getting rid of shows.  Ben and Kate, I am so sorry I did not discover you sooner, and see more of you. I did see your episodes are on Itunes, and that will help.

Alas, it will only comfort me for a while until I yearn for new episodes.  where I see how  Ben’s (Nat Faxon) RailMall is coming along? What about Kate (Dakota Johnson) ?  Will the sensitive baker win her heart?  Will Tommy’s (Echo Kellum)love life continue on the peaceful path, and what about Maddie (Maggie Elizabeth Jones)?  Now that she is 9 will I have to wait for another movie to come out?  Will BJ (Lucy Punch) ever get a commercial? Is this just over?  Ok, I get it. I am not great with change.  There are about 5 reality shows that could be cancelled immediately as far as I am concerned. At least I DVR’d a couple of episodes, I had more, but my DVR box broke and Cox brought me a new one sans, saved Ben and Kate episodes.

Other than that my viewing week has been good!  RuPaul the queen of drag is back with season 5, can you believe 5 seasons?  I love this years queens. My fave is already Jade Jolie, what a great personality.  There is already a conflict between 2 queens that have competed and had scandal.  There is a major secret around Alyssa Edwards who was forced to forfeit her title. I am dying to know what happened.

Switched at Birth is also wonderful.   Bay Kennish (Vanessa Marano-you know Luke’s daughter April on Gilmore Girls?) is the 16 year old artist who was switched in the hospital at birth. She grew up rich with a pool, in Kansas City.  Daphne (katie Leclerc) did not have it as well, she grew up poor in the hood, got an infection and went deaf at 3.  Angelo (Gilles Marini) abandon Regina and the child thinking Regina (Constance Marie) cheated on him.  Speaking of Angelo, he really needs therapy.  He has another baby mama running around 8 months pregnant.  Something tells me that baby is going to be in that family. Which family? The Kennish/Vasquez family.

Finally my great new find is Elementary. This is the story of Sherlock Holmes (Johnny Lee Miller), the modern updated version. He is a recovering Heroin addict, with a sober companion named, guess? That is right her name is Watson (Lucy Liu).  He is a consultant to the NY police department where the police captain is one of my all time faves, Adian Quinn.  He is smarter than everyone else, and knows it. The show is marvelous. You may remember Johnny Lee Miller as Eli Stone and the first Mr. Angelina Jolie.  He deserved a hit.

Ok, I have a lot of homework to do tomorrow as well as work.  So I will have to sign off tonight, and have a great super bowl day!!  Where is my Mad Men? I am just asking.